The Crazed Homemaker

And One More...

2008-09-05T16:34:00.000-04:00

Let's make this a first day triple play.

Aside from general work/housework and the war on the cats' bladders, I do have one other pressing and constant preoccupation, and that is the appallingly misnamed morning sickness.

This is my first pregnancy, and I am really happy. Honestly. But, wow, I had no idea that I could feel like vomiting every waking moment. It's a bit like the cat pee problem: constant, annoying, and seemingly unaffected by everyone else's sure-fire cure.

The best bet so far has been Reed's Ginger Chews, which a dear friend stocked in my pantry. I can't stand ginger, but these certainly do make me feel better. Saltines are a mediocre fix; ginger ale is useless; popsicles work for a minute or two. The only thing that really works long-term is going back to sleep for as long as possible, but that option isn't always on the table.

The major functional difficulty this is causing is that cooking dinner, which used to be my favorite task of the day, is now absolutely torturous. I can't stand the smell of garlic, onions, tomatoes, chicken, seafood, anything mexican, or really any kind of vegetable. Worst of all, I have some sort of food-specific Memento-like amnesia--so I make out the grocery list thinking, "Yeah, yeah, I can do chicken enchiladas," only to arrive at the appointed day and think, "HOLY GOD, I can't make those; I can't even think about tho--oh lord a ginger chew."

So, my question is this: what do/would you do in this situation? What can I cook for dinner that won't have me racing for the bathroom? And, just in case it works, what was your cure-all for all-day-freakin-long sickness?

The Plague God Forgot

2008-09-05T13:02:00.000-04:00

If the Old Testament Jehovah had sent an army of male cats to Egypt, he could have saved himself a lot of time and effort.

I speak, of course, as an owner/host/hostage of four cats, two of whom come with built-in furniture- and home-ruining equipment. Nearly every day, I have the pleasure of finding yet another marked, sprayed, soaked, or crystallized area--from the pantry wall to the shower floor. Thus far, Rocky and Duncan and I have proved two things about our relationship: I am apparently incapable of evicting them, and they know it.

The emphasis, then, has been on cat-pee removal, which I am beginning to think of as only slightly more possible than a perpetual motion machine. Vinegar? Worthless. Soap and water? You're laughing already. Baking soda? Lemon juice? Bleach? Ah, if a mess could literally spit in the face of a cleaning agent.

I even broke down some time back and ordered an online miracle product, Cat Odor-Off, along with a small black light wand that was supposed to reveal the source of the stench. I felt like Nicolas Cage in one of those stupid National Treasure movies, crawling around on my hands and knees looking for evidence with my special decoder ring. Oh, and here's what I found: that anything white (including dust) glows under a black light; and that the only smell in the world that may be more offensive than cat pee is Cat Odor-Off.

Suggestions for my next attempt at a miracle will be greatly received. Unfortunately, releasing the Hebrew slaves from bondage is not an option.

Gotta Start Somewhere

2008-09-05T11:48:00.000-04:00

The first post is always the hardest; it's the verbal equivalent of deciding what to wear on your first date. Do I dig far back into the closet for something with a little history? Experiment (probably mistakenly) with eyeshadow or lipstick in an effort to look more put together than I actually am? Or do I just say, "Screw it," wear my uniform, wash my face, and go with the way things are right now?

Screw it. I'm here in ripped jeans.

I don't know what exactly got into my head about starting this blog. I guess I've intended to start writing again for a while now, but I didn't know what to write about, and thus haven't rebuilt the habit. I'm rusty at the thing I enjoy most, and--eventually--I do always manage to get up off my ass.

So, I'm going to start in mid-stream. Trying to explain how the elements of my life came together as they are would a) take forever, b) bore you to tears, and c) involve a lot more exposure and self-obsession than I'm willing to go in for. Instead, I will likely write about baking muffins while having morning sickness, trying to find the mother of all cat-pee neutralizers, and secretly (and embarassingly) coveting fall-themed knickknacks and decorations. There will also be bits on home construction, parenting, small-town living, and Zen. I call it ADD-eclectic.